GROUND HOG DAYS
I once heard that the average toddler hears the word “no” over 200 times in one day. Yeah well, who do you think is saying it? Remember that movie with Bill Murray where he wakes up and keeps having the same day over and over? Of course you do it was the story of your life! Here are just a few of the things I repeat daily; “I don’t know where your (insert random object here) is. I was not he one who had it last.” “Stop hitting your brother.” “Stop picking your nose.” “You must at least taste it before you say you do not like it” “You must hold my hand in the parking lot. Do not run off you may get hit by a car.” “First eat your dinner before you can have any sweets.” “NO! NO!” “Your coat does not go one the floor.” “Stop sticking things in the outlets! While you’re at it stop sticking things in your nose too.” “That is not a toy.” “Please get down from there.” “The word your looking for is WON’T not CAN’T. You CAN do it but you just won’t.” “Poop, But, Fart, Turd and all poop related words are bad words as far as I am concerned and the next time you say them I will wash your mouth out!” “You have to drink milk too not just juice or your teeth will rot out.” “Please be quiet.” “Apologize to your sister.” “Stop hitting!” “Do you have any sense?” “Pick up your room.” “You need a time out.” “That behavior is not acceptable.” “Turn it down.” “Turn it off.” “Start listening.” “Get down from there.” “Get off the ground!” “Don’t eat things you have dropped on the floor.” “Put your toys away.” “Hurry up, we are going to be late again.” “Oh yes you will young lady.” “A sucker is not breakfast.” “Stop playing in the toilet.” Oh and let’s not forget, “Not tonight dear I have a headache.” Ha how would I not after a day like that? I say the same things day in and day out. At some point in time one would think they would get tired of hearing them and actually do what it is I ask. I speak and I think all they must hear is “WA WAH WAH WAH WA WA WAH” At what point did I become Charlie Brown’s teacher? Do they think I like to sound like this? It only contributes to my tired and listless appearance. My youthful glow is slipping away like sands through the hour glass. The mundanaity of it is…well mundane. It amazes me what actually excites me these days. A trip to the grocery store alone is a treat! A chapter read in a book is nice. Today for instance, my four year old got in the car and actually put her own arms through the car seat straps and sat ready for me to buckle her quietly and calmly. I felt like a choir was signing hallelujah! My mini-van somehow seemed enlightened. The clouds in the sky suddenly parted. Had I actually finally been heard? I have only been saying, “Please get in your seat and put your arms in the straps while I put your brother in the car,” for one year, three days, and 16 hours, 23 minutes, and 15 seconds now. Everyday it is the same thing. My mother got mad at me the other day and said. “She’s only four. You don’t have to be so snipity with her.” Yes mom she is only four until you want her to play Beethoven’s fifth symphony on the piano and then she is “sheer genius.” Why can this same child not complete one simple and very helpful little task for mommy’s sanity? It is a question for the afterlife I guess. Right up there with why the husband won’t actually look for something before coming to you and saying he can’t find it anywhere, and what is the meaning of life. I wanted nothing more in my twenties than to be married and have kids. And now I want nothing more than to be swept away in a leer jet to Paris. It is no wonder women get hooked on soap operas. They need to escape from the mundane, the "Groundhog days of their lives." I guess I somehow thought it would be different. Thought it would be more glamorous. I definitely thought it would be easier. I thought there would be more help and now I am left here alone and disillusioned. A point I’d like to make here for you to think about tonight. In your twenties when you thought about and wanted a marriage with a family so bad,when you went to your married friends houses and looked at the picture above their mantle (you know the one we all have, husband, wife and darling children) what did you see? A frozen moment in time when for the one split second of that camera shutter all was right and all was quiet and still, a perfect family. But I ask you did you take a moment to remind yourself no one takes pictures at a funeral. By this I simply mean, we only want to remember the good and what life looks like in that gleaming photo above your fireplace, may not be at all what life is really like. The smiling mommy on the mantle was probably having a groundhog day of her own. “Smile for the camera. Stop hitting your sister. Quit picking your nose. Where did that stain come from, you’ve only had this shirt in for two minutes?” Her armpits were probably sweaty, her hair probably glued in place, the kids probably threatened with in inches of their lives oh and by the way her husband probably just farted.
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