Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I’m going to have to insist that you not serve me chicken anymore..( a story about change and about the time my husband alomst lost his nuts)

I’m going to have to insist that you not serve me chicken

It seems that I may have ruffled some tail feathers with yesterdays spot. I thought on it all night. Should I take it down? Should I change it in some way? I really was preoccupied the whole day. Last night lying in bed I came up with an answer. Maybe ruffling tail feathers is good. Maybe that is the only way a change will be made. (maybe not all husbands are ready to read this blog) My husband has read this blog. He laughed and we talked about a few of the issues I brought up. But mostly do you know what I have noticed? I have noticed that he has helped just a little more with the dishes, he helped get the kids to bed, he has been just a little bit more sensitive, and he has even offered to let me shower first since he knows I had the kids all day.

That’s it! That’s the key!

Change no matter how slight is what the point of this blog is. It was suggested yesterday that I was insinuating that someone was completely unhappy in their marriage and that said someone was out there looking for someone or something better. That she was searching for this mythical unicorn. I re-read the blog over and over. I guess I could see where that might be the conclusion drawn. I want to state for the record that this blog is about my life and my everyday encounters with my own husband. If you have read yourself into this blog then that is all on you. If you see yourself as the person complaining and can relate that is because many of us are going through the same things. But what I want to clarify is that most of us, myself included, are not searching for someone else. We are not so unhappy that we want out. We do not feel as though we have settled on second best. Most of us are really in love with the man we married we just want a little change here and there. We just want a little help. We just want the recognition that we deserve for being the hard working wives that we are.

No different than any man I am sure on Earth wishing his wonderful wife was just a little skinnier, just a little more sweet in the morning, a little more sexually active at night, or that she would stop serving him chicken three times a week. We all want a little change and that’s just a fact. We do not want someone else, we are in love with what we have. We just want what we have to grow and evolve. That’s life man! I love the house I live in but I wish it were in a better neighborhood, and it needs new windows. The paint needs scraping and touching up, and the kitchen needs to be remodeled. I am not selling the house or dumping it for another one I love this one it just needs some attention. Do men get that? Your relationship needs some attention and some maintenance. Just the same as your car or your house, every now and then your love needs a tune up.

The funny thing to me also is that if a man’s needs are not being met he is quick to say so. In fact not only is he quick to say so but he is quick to insist that a change is made. He will not stand for this any longer. But why does a woman just stand idly by unhappy with a situation and either complain only to her friends or suffer silently? I think because when we demand this change the same as a man would we are called nags or bitches and it is dismissed as our time of the month. We have to be stronger and more persistent just like a man would be that the changes we need are actually made and stuck with. My husband hates chicken. He only wants red meat for dinner. About six months ago I made two nights in a row what I thought were very delicious and well prepared meals. The first night was fried chicken with cheese potatoes and corn on the cob. The second night was homemade pizza with Alfredo sauce base, chicken and spinach with red paper flakes and mozzarella cheese. He was eating the pizza and the turned to look at me and said, “I am going to have to insist that you not serve me chicken anymore.” As plain as day and without much emphasis, just kind of nonchalantly said it.

WHAT THE FUCK????  For those of you who KNOW me. I mean really KNOW me (not just in passing or on facebook) you know he is lucky to still have two testicles let alone a penis attached to them. Baa haaaaaaaaaaa....

My face became very hot and I had to sit on my hands so as not to smack him across his smug undeterred face. This is what I am talking about. He made known very simply that he no longer wanted to eat chicken that same as if he were telling me it was raining outside. He stated his point and not for one second did he feel bad about it or even fret about saying it beforehand. Why are we as women not able to do this?

I’ll tell you what. I am going to start. Right here and now, today. No more whining to my girlfriends. I will just say what it is I want and then calmly and without hesitation proceed to insist that I get it. I still serve Rick chicken but only maybe once every few months and I make sure it is on a dish he likes like dumplings. I did let him know that if he ever said anything like that again that I would have to insist that he fix his own damn dinner from now on but other than that we were both heard and the necessary changes were made. Changes are what we want not whole new husbands.

So again to review… We love YOU… not so much exactly as you are but maybe with minor adjustments.  ( wink wink )

We love your quirky ways and even your stinky outpourings. You make us happy. But I am sure guys that you will have to admit you dream about the unicorn now and again. Otherwise porn would never have been invented. I mean come on. If all of us were perfectly happy all the time with one another porn would become obsolete. Who’d need it when you already had the best at home? A secret though, I bet even Jenna Jameson’s hubby looks now and again, and even Pam Anderson's man wonders about others now and then. It’s just human nature. But as far as our real relationships and as far as our basic needs as women, maybe THEIR way, the mans way, in this matter of change is the way to go.

Ladies, be a man, insist on change and demand that it be immediate and permanent. Insist they not serve you chicken anymore!